I like the bone you are chewing here Carl and have a couple observations.
You don’t need to chew so hard. Overthinking can be counterproductive.
You don’t need to fight so hard. Instead of resisting the undesirable, double down on desirable thoughts and behaviors. Get so busy doing and enjoying the right things there is no time for the wrong things.
Maybe visit my old post on dopamine- link to follow
Thanks for commenting Craig, glad you're here. This is not bad advice! I think especially when it comes to personal development and clinical work, we have to be pretty (if not mostly) pragmatic--the ultimate measure of any thinking, "over"thinking or not, has to be whether it helps.
Another timely post. A friend recommended a fast from consuming, to be replaced by producing. No social media, no web surfing, no movies/tv; they're replaced by writing, exercising, meditating, and crucially, by being bored. To allow us to reconnect with what's really happening inside of us, both good and bad. I'm a lapsed Catholic, but I'm going to do it for Lent. He said initially, it was excruciating, but over time he felt himself tapping into something deeper inside himself. Anyway, that starts next Wednesday for 6 weeks. Away we go!
Being bored is a very powerful practice, and the ability to be bored is quickly becoming a superpower!! I love this Laurie. Very best wishes for your fast.
thanks Carl. my brother and I are going to do it together. I realized I was mindlessly consuming media, like mentally emptying a bag of Doritos into my brain. I love your posts, and keep em coming.
Great post Carl. As you might imagine I like categorizing the different failure modes and having strategies to deal with them. It takes this from theory to practice. Oversimplifying why we make the choices we do limits our ability to learn to make different choices.
So nicely put Eric, thanks. I try my best to look to the subtleties to the point that it's useful.... In this case, we shouldn't oversimplify self-control!
How does an ADHD diagnosis fit into this? My brother has had the diagnosis since he was a child. He’s now in his second inpatient treatment for alcohol. And once again he is not allowed any ADHD medication while there. He just ends up being scattered and depressed the entire time, lacking the best tools to work on his self-control.
So sorry to hear of your brother's issues. I wouldn't want to speculate too much about his particular case, but imagining how the post might apply to ADHD in general, I can say that just as there are different components to self-control that might manifest differently in different people, there are also different components of ADHD challenges. Some people struggle more with the attention aspect, others with hyperactivity or impulsivity. The four types of self-control failures I outlined might be especially relevant
Very interesting post, Carl! Definitions are the hardest thing we do because it is practically impossible to derive one that includes all the possibilities. So I feel your pain!
Thank you for taking the time to write through your process of working through this concept so we can learn from you. I find terms like 'self control', 'emotional regulation', 'trauma informed' and 'relapse prevention' equally frustrating and fascinating. They have been throw around all the time but are so poorly operationalised. The way they are used make me think of 'faith'. There's a vague, almost mystical nature to it - some unknowable, invisible force that can be accessed by engaging in the 'right' rituals that will instantly solve seemingly unsolvable problems. "The just need more self control... they just need to learn emotional regulation skills... they just need to have the faith of a mustard seed". I also really appreciated what you right about the dangers of 'over-control' - they clients I work with who hang onto their abstinence with a death grip are the ones I struggle with the most, as even the tiniest lapse can send them spiralling.
I like the bone you are chewing here Carl and have a couple observations.
You don’t need to chew so hard. Overthinking can be counterproductive.
You don’t need to fight so hard. Instead of resisting the undesirable, double down on desirable thoughts and behaviors. Get so busy doing and enjoying the right things there is no time for the wrong things.
Maybe visit my old post on dopamine- link to follow
Thanks for commenting Craig, glad you're here. This is not bad advice! I think especially when it comes to personal development and clinical work, we have to be pretty (if not mostly) pragmatic--the ultimate measure of any thinking, "over"thinking or not, has to be whether it helps.
Another timely post. A friend recommended a fast from consuming, to be replaced by producing. No social media, no web surfing, no movies/tv; they're replaced by writing, exercising, meditating, and crucially, by being bored. To allow us to reconnect with what's really happening inside of us, both good and bad. I'm a lapsed Catholic, but I'm going to do it for Lent. He said initially, it was excruciating, but over time he felt himself tapping into something deeper inside himself. Anyway, that starts next Wednesday for 6 weeks. Away we go!
Being bored is a very powerful practice, and the ability to be bored is quickly becoming a superpower!! I love this Laurie. Very best wishes for your fast.
thanks Carl. my brother and I are going to do it together. I realized I was mindlessly consuming media, like mentally emptying a bag of Doritos into my brain. I love your posts, and keep em coming.
Great post Carl. As you might imagine I like categorizing the different failure modes and having strategies to deal with them. It takes this from theory to practice. Oversimplifying why we make the choices we do limits our ability to learn to make different choices.
So nicely put Eric, thanks. I try my best to look to the subtleties to the point that it's useful.... In this case, we shouldn't oversimplify self-control!
How does an ADHD diagnosis fit into this? My brother has had the diagnosis since he was a child. He’s now in his second inpatient treatment for alcohol. And once again he is not allowed any ADHD medication while there. He just ends up being scattered and depressed the entire time, lacking the best tools to work on his self-control.
So sorry to hear of your brother's issues. I wouldn't want to speculate too much about his particular case, but imagining how the post might apply to ADHD in general, I can say that just as there are different components to self-control that might manifest differently in different people, there are also different components of ADHD challenges. Some people struggle more with the attention aspect, others with hyperactivity or impulsivity. The four types of self-control failures I outlined might be especially relevant
This was awesome. Thank you!
Thanks so much Logan, glad you enjoyed!
This is outstanding
Thanks so much, very kind of you to say!
Thank you for this. I am sharing with a few patients that I think will really appreciate this.
So glad to hear that!
Very interesting post, Carl! Definitions are the hardest thing we do because it is practically impossible to derive one that includes all the possibilities. So I feel your pain!
Thank you for taking the time to write through your process of working through this concept so we can learn from you. I find terms like 'self control', 'emotional regulation', 'trauma informed' and 'relapse prevention' equally frustrating and fascinating. They have been throw around all the time but are so poorly operationalised. The way they are used make me think of 'faith'. There's a vague, almost mystical nature to it - some unknowable, invisible force that can be accessed by engaging in the 'right' rituals that will instantly solve seemingly unsolvable problems. "The just need more self control... they just need to learn emotional regulation skills... they just need to have the faith of a mustard seed". I also really appreciated what you right about the dangers of 'over-control' - they clients I work with who hang onto their abstinence with a death grip are the ones I struggle with the most, as even the tiniest lapse can send them spiralling.
https://open.substack.com/pub/craigawilliamson/p/the-truth-about-dopamine-friend-or?r=16nfs2&utm_medium=ios