Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Rithana's avatar

This is super interesting - I’d never heard the ‘dead person’s goals’ framing before, but it really struck me as an excellent way to move one’s thinking towards creating a richer, vibrant, and more exciting life on one’s own terms. I also appreciated your focus on value neutrality, as I think that tends to be a persistent problem in Western positive psychology frameworks. Looking forward to reading more!

Expand full comment
Allison Taylor Conway's avatar

For some reason in reading this thoughtful piece I was thinking about Anna Lembke's 'Dopamine Nation' and the ideas she puts forth about the curious problem of our living in a culture that's saturated in constant access to quick and easy "pleasures" (dopamine spikes / (happiness?)). She describes that doing cold plunges, for example, is a great exercise to (eventually) feel good because you are inflicting pain on purpose in order to press on pain receptors in the brain so that the corresponding pleasure receptors balance out afterwards. I'm wondering if this applies in some way to the idea of pursuing 'happiness' as though it were a thing that can exist by itself instead of a thing that can only exist as relative to whatever its opposite is (depending on the type of happiness one is seeking). That the pursuit of feeling 'happy more often' as a way of avoiding pain/unhappiness/boredom/discomfort/what have you, obscures our ability to see that ultimately we need frustration, challenge, and difficulty in order to perceive happiness. In my recovery, too, I have this sense that the most challenging/hardest parts of it -- the times where I'm really unhappy! and have to struggle my way through practicing grace - are a part of what makes me ultimately so 'happy' (?) I have chosen recovery for myself.

Kind of like how my following along with your great thought-provoking essays and feeling the challenge of thinking through the concepts and questions you pose is enjoyable to me even though I also feel that lovely 'pain' of trying to figure out complex subjects! My mental fumbles as I do so only add to my glee when an insight pops through -- rare as that may be. :)

I hope any of this makes sense! Thank you, Carl.

Expand full comment
8 more comments...

No posts